Weekend.

That word used to mean nothing to me. My other half worked seven days a week, and me, I studied and looked after the kids, rarely going out, so basically all days were the same.

Not now. Now I'm working.

So the last couple of days I have had a "weekend" for the first time in as long as I can remember. We didn't do anything monumental. We played with toys, we sang some songs, we did some cooking, played some games, watched some tv, and just chilled. And now it is the end of Sunday, everyone else is asleep, and I am sitting here with a glass of wine watching Masterchef thinking about the fact that tomorrow I am going back to work and will be there for five days before another one of these elusive creatures called a weekend comes along again.

I'm loving working. I really am. Whilst I am not doing what I will eventually be doing it is a means to an end. I am edging my way back in to the workforce, basically to make sure I can do it, and that the kids are okay with my doing it. For they are always my first concern. If they aren't handling it then that is that. But they are. And while part of me is rapt that they are another part of me is slightly sad, because it means that the role I have undertaken for the last three years is now over. No longer am I a SAHM - a stay at home mum. I'm a working mum. And I get home and see the kids for an hour or so before they go to bed, for a short while in the morning, and on the weekends. I won't lie - it's emotional.

But I do think it's all for the good. I really do. Lexi didn't cry when she dropped me off at the station on Friday, unlike every other day of the past week. And once I had been dropped off she said "I want to go to school now". School is daycare - but she calls it school. So it seems that she has adjusted. Remarkably quickly. And yes, it's great, but yes it is also sad.

I'm looking forward to what the future holds from a work perspective. I am looking forward to utilizing everything I have studied in a practical sense, and to do so I must take a few further steps and see if I can get myself into that kind of role. And I'm doing that. Tomorrow. So wish me luck.

It will take a while to get myself totally in sync, and to make sure things are on track, but they are well on the way. And it is good. Yes, it is very good.

It is just astounding how quickly things change. And how quickly babies become infants, then toddlers, then children. Young children. Little people.

Every day I look at my kids and feel my heart grow larger. I am so very grateful I was blessed enough to have these three miracles in my life, and now it is my time to work to give them the things I so wish for them, aside from that which I could never NOT give them - my undying love. Forever.