In the long run.
For now, it is a struggle. Realistically, I would be better off being a stay at home mum. Financially.
But in the long run, I would be better off working. Not just for me, for my family.
I redid my budget tonight. I have the grand total of $12.38 a week leftover after all the necessities are taken care of. That doesn't leave a lot to entertain the kids on a weekend now does it?
So what do I do? Do I succumb and say yes I will go back to being a SAHM and close my eyes to the future to ensure the now is more fullsome?
I can't. Because that would be verging on negligent on my part.
I have the capacity, and in the long run I, and my beautiful babies, will benefit from my working to provide for them.
But my word it is hard. So so hard. I can't even begin to explain what I'm going through.
I do understand why so many single mums don't enter, or re-enter, the workforce. Because realistically, why would you?
For the future. That's why.
And I must remain steadfast in that belief.
It will be ok. For now, we struggle, but down the track, we will be ok. I know we will.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Children are amazing.
Tabitha in particular. Why? Well, she fell off the arm of the sofa at daycare on Thursday and sustained a fairly nasty bump on the head. She cried for perhaps 10 minutes and that was that. She was a little clingier than usual that evening but that was really it. As I went to put her pyjamas on I noticed she was hesitant to use her right arm. Hmmm. Not ideal. So put that one in the "alert" basket. When she came into my room in the middle of the night and wanted to sleep in my bed I told her that of course she could. When she told me she couldn't get in, that's when the alarm bells really started ringing.
So the next morning I dropped the others at daycare and proceeded on to the hospital, wherein they gave her some painkillers, watched her walking around (mid scream mind you) and then jiggled her arm around with the conclusion that she had dislocated her elbow.
After half an hour she was bright as a button, moving the arm, and all was good, and it was felt that the jiggling relocated the elbow to its rightful place. I told them that I thought she had fractured it. She was exhibiting the exact same behaviours as she was after breaking her leg. But no, apparently not, because she was moving the arm, using it a little, and was not "put out" by anything. Okay, you're the doctors.
She slept the rest of the afternoon, was groggy in the evening, then crawled back into bed with me that night. Sounds fine yes?
No.
She was not using her arm this morning. At all. And it was swollen. And hot. And mummy's gut instincts should ALWAYS be trusted.
Xray revealed a supracondylar fracture. For us lay folk, that is a fracture in the bone just above the elbow. Tabitha screamed any time anyone even looked at her. And was still happy enough to play in the waiting room while we were waiting for our turn to be seen. I think that is part of the reason why it took over an hour to even get seen, considering there was nobody else in the waiting room at the time. And three others went in ahead of us as they came in.
However, we finally got to see someone. Tabitha screamed (what a shock) and I told him the whole shebang, and also told him that I thought it was broken, and it was hot and swollen and the rest of the story. Xraying her proved challenging. That is putting it mildly. And after it had finished, and the xray technician said "I've seen that before" or words to that effect, my response was "well it's over for you now though isn't it........". I think he understood.
Anyway, back out to the tv area (which became our "bed" zone because the kids didn't all fit in the cubicle without tripping over each other, and the doctor came out and told me that yes it was fractured and they were just working out how to set it best. Funny thing is it was 100% not surprising. Because I knew it was fractured.
Doctors are doctors. They do know their stuff. But I don't think they put enough weight upon the 'testimony' for want of a better word, of the mother. I know Tabitha in and out, back to front. If she even sneezes a different way I know. Because I am her mother. Won't harp. Just a bit of a bug bear.
Plastering. Yes. Well. That was going to work wasn't it? But guess what? I am giving myself genius status, because when they brought out the collar and cuff (measuring it up on Lexi because the girls are basically the same size), I told Tabitha that they were giving her a new bracelet and necklace to match the bracelet she got from the hospital yesterday (the other hospital gave her a blue bracelet saying "Great job" on it). She was still as. You could not have believed it. Amazing. Truly amazing.
So then it was done. Mini chick was all set, casted up, and ready to go.
And I do think they appreciated that their dad made an appearance at the hospital too. He was supposed to take them from lunchtime for the afternoon and when things turned awry it seemed logical that he come there as he very rarely sees them.
So the morning was spent as I described, and they have had a wonderful time with their dad celebrating early father's day this afternoon, about which I am truly rapt as I would love him to spend more time with them, and now they are all asleep. And I'm hoping they stay that way until morning.
So when you say "I wonder what next weekend will bring", just remember, it may bring fractures....but it also may bring immense pride as you see your second child exhibit qualities of bravery and strengh that would rival the strongest man.
<3 my babies.
So the next morning I dropped the others at daycare and proceeded on to the hospital, wherein they gave her some painkillers, watched her walking around (mid scream mind you) and then jiggled her arm around with the conclusion that she had dislocated her elbow.
After half an hour she was bright as a button, moving the arm, and all was good, and it was felt that the jiggling relocated the elbow to its rightful place. I told them that I thought she had fractured it. She was exhibiting the exact same behaviours as she was after breaking her leg. But no, apparently not, because she was moving the arm, using it a little, and was not "put out" by anything. Okay, you're the doctors.
She slept the rest of the afternoon, was groggy in the evening, then crawled back into bed with me that night. Sounds fine yes?
No.
She was not using her arm this morning. At all. And it was swollen. And hot. And mummy's gut instincts should ALWAYS be trusted.
Xray revealed a supracondylar fracture. For us lay folk, that is a fracture in the bone just above the elbow. Tabitha screamed any time anyone even looked at her. And was still happy enough to play in the waiting room while we were waiting for our turn to be seen. I think that is part of the reason why it took over an hour to even get seen, considering there was nobody else in the waiting room at the time. And three others went in ahead of us as they came in.
However, we finally got to see someone. Tabitha screamed (what a shock) and I told him the whole shebang, and also told him that I thought it was broken, and it was hot and swollen and the rest of the story. Xraying her proved challenging. That is putting it mildly. And after it had finished, and the xray technician said "I've seen that before" or words to that effect, my response was "well it's over for you now though isn't it........". I think he understood.
Anyway, back out to the tv area (which became our "bed" zone because the kids didn't all fit in the cubicle without tripping over each other, and the doctor came out and told me that yes it was fractured and they were just working out how to set it best. Funny thing is it was 100% not surprising. Because I knew it was fractured.
Doctors are doctors. They do know their stuff. But I don't think they put enough weight upon the 'testimony' for want of a better word, of the mother. I know Tabitha in and out, back to front. If she even sneezes a different way I know. Because I am her mother. Won't harp. Just a bit of a bug bear.
Plastering. Yes. Well. That was going to work wasn't it? But guess what? I am giving myself genius status, because when they brought out the collar and cuff (measuring it up on Lexi because the girls are basically the same size), I told Tabitha that they were giving her a new bracelet and necklace to match the bracelet she got from the hospital yesterday (the other hospital gave her a blue bracelet saying "Great job" on it). She was still as. You could not have believed it. Amazing. Truly amazing.
So then it was done. Mini chick was all set, casted up, and ready to go.
And I do think they appreciated that their dad made an appearance at the hospital too. He was supposed to take them from lunchtime for the afternoon and when things turned awry it seemed logical that he come there as he very rarely sees them.
So the morning was spent as I described, and they have had a wonderful time with their dad celebrating early father's day this afternoon, about which I am truly rapt as I would love him to spend more time with them, and now they are all asleep. And I'm hoping they stay that way until morning.
So when you say "I wonder what next weekend will bring", just remember, it may bring fractures....but it also may bring immense pride as you see your second child exhibit qualities of bravery and strengh that would rival the strongest man.
<3 my babies.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Best. Weekend. Ever.
What an absolutely amazing weekend I have just had with my astounding lil mini folks.
Saturday was our quest to find some nice fabrics for the girls so I can make them each a dress (as they have outgrown all bar one or two). So we toddled off to Highpoint and had a wander around (aimlessly as it would seem) for quite some time before stumbling upon Lincraft, wherein we found some gorgeous fabrics - Lexi got a white fabric with heart pattern in rainbow colours, and Tabitha got a pink fabric with multicoloured butterflies. As we had by that stage been wandering for a good hour or so and the natives were getting restless we headed to the food court for a bite to eat, all sat down at the tables and had a lovely lunch together.
Following that we went for a little drive so the sleepiness could kick in and the minis could have a rest, then back home via the supermarket where we got a huge variety of fruit in order to make a massive fruit salad for dinner (their request). I proceeded to start getting myself ready for an evening out with one of the girls with whom I undertook the grad diploma, and mum came up and watched the kids for the evening.
My friend and I enjoyed a magnificent seafood meal at Crown Casino, followed up by a light drink at one of the bars there, before I headed home, by 11, feeling rejuvenated, and energised by the fact that I could, physically, leave the kids with someone apart from myself and actually leave the house!
Today was brilliant too, aside from the ridiculously early waking, as we headed to the Grand Hyatt for brunch for a dear friend's birthday.
Amazing. The only word for it. And I'm not just talking the food (which, let's face it, is just mindblowing). All three of my babies were so so SO well behaved, as were the other two littlies who attended. My heart was swelling with pride as they showed their manners in full flight, they ate "proper" food before hitting the dessert bar, and left without incident.
We did the obligatory "drive" after lunch so they could all have a kip, during which I found myself internally and externally smiling at just how wonderful they had been, and how enjoyable a day it had been.
Once we got home we played some games, messed around a bit, then we had dinner, which they ate both meat AND vegies, dressed for bed without incident, and all down by 7 (though Tabitha repeated the up down thing a good half dozen times).
And now they are all asleep. And I feel sensational.
What a truly fabulous weekend.
I hope all out there in the big wide world had at least half as good a weekend as we did, because if you did it would have been out of this world.
Saturday was our quest to find some nice fabrics for the girls so I can make them each a dress (as they have outgrown all bar one or two). So we toddled off to Highpoint and had a wander around (aimlessly as it would seem) for quite some time before stumbling upon Lincraft, wherein we found some gorgeous fabrics - Lexi got a white fabric with heart pattern in rainbow colours, and Tabitha got a pink fabric with multicoloured butterflies. As we had by that stage been wandering for a good hour or so and the natives were getting restless we headed to the food court for a bite to eat, all sat down at the tables and had a lovely lunch together.
Following that we went for a little drive so the sleepiness could kick in and the minis could have a rest, then back home via the supermarket where we got a huge variety of fruit in order to make a massive fruit salad for dinner (their request). I proceeded to start getting myself ready for an evening out with one of the girls with whom I undertook the grad diploma, and mum came up and watched the kids for the evening.
My friend and I enjoyed a magnificent seafood meal at Crown Casino, followed up by a light drink at one of the bars there, before I headed home, by 11, feeling rejuvenated, and energised by the fact that I could, physically, leave the kids with someone apart from myself and actually leave the house!
Today was brilliant too, aside from the ridiculously early waking, as we headed to the Grand Hyatt for brunch for a dear friend's birthday.
Amazing. The only word for it. And I'm not just talking the food (which, let's face it, is just mindblowing). All three of my babies were so so SO well behaved, as were the other two littlies who attended. My heart was swelling with pride as they showed their manners in full flight, they ate "proper" food before hitting the dessert bar, and left without incident.
We did the obligatory "drive" after lunch so they could all have a kip, during which I found myself internally and externally smiling at just how wonderful they had been, and how enjoyable a day it had been.
Once we got home we played some games, messed around a bit, then we had dinner, which they ate both meat AND vegies, dressed for bed without incident, and all down by 7 (though Tabitha repeated the up down thing a good half dozen times).
And now they are all asleep. And I feel sensational.
What a truly fabulous weekend.
I hope all out there in the big wide world had at least half as good a weekend as we did, because if you did it would have been out of this world.
Friday, August 24, 2012
First full week
as a lawyer done and dusted :)
It's fair to say I'm happy with my job. So let's not get all over the top. Back to the most important thing in my life - my babies!
They are doing amazingly.
Lexi. Well. What can I say about Lexi? She is truly a little angel. So very helpful, so incredibly polite, and a gorgeous, beautiful, gentle soul. She is incredibly excited about starting "big school" next year. Her speech is gradually improving, but still a long way to go. She still has difficulty hearing, and we have a repeat audiogram in October so hopefully they can work out what's going on, or even better, we will see the difficulties resolve. I know that is wishful thinking, but I'm allowed to do that cos I'm her mum and I want everything to be okay for her. So we shall cross that bridge when we come to it.
Tabitha is Tabitha. As per usual. Although she is, slowly, 'maturing' for want of a better word. When she tries, she is fabulous - polite, caring, sharing, empathetic, logical. When she doesn't, well, let's just say that the small child in Bewitched and she share something in common. She is doing brilliantly at "school". Just brilliantly. She has already achieved all the goals needed to attend kinder, and yet she isn't due to go for 18 months. I'm hoping that because the kinder room at daycare is a dual purpose kinder/4 y/o room that they will allow her to be in there for 2 years as she is itching to go. Just itching. And she would thrive on the challenge. Such a smart little cookie. I think that is part of the problem a lot of the time - she is too smart for her own good and gets frustrated at everyone else treating her as though she is younger than her mental age!!!
Angus is sensational. SUCH a lil man. He is just hilarious - loves his shoes, hates wearing jackets, loves having "product" in his hair, runs around like nobody's business, nearly always has a smile on his face. Not too fond of the whole "sharing" thing, but he's at that age. It's funny though, he's my smallest (not by age, but by comparison with when the girls were his age). And yet I'm sure he'll probably end up being the tallest. Poor mum will be left in the shadows as far as the height goes - they will all overtake me!
Me, I am doing well. It is amazing how what you tell yourself can change how you feel, even if nothing effectively changes. To illustrate this, imagine you constantly emailed a radio station to try and win a competition, and they never even so much as emailed back to give confirmation they had received your entry. Again and again you would be disappointed. Change the way you think and act. Stop emailing the radio station. Effectively nothing changes. You are still getting no response, but it isn't painful anymore. Wonderful the power of the mind isn't it?
And so on that note I will just say that I caught up with a friend from school today who I haven't seen for 21 years. It was wonderful to hear news of what he'd been up to since school, and to hear about his new lil man - the joys of parenthood in its true infancy. And so very much more ahead.
And to make things even better, he brought a lovely piece of pancetta as a gift for me. How very very thoughtful. How did he know......... :)
It's fair to say I'm happy with my job. So let's not get all over the top. Back to the most important thing in my life - my babies!
They are doing amazingly.
Lexi. Well. What can I say about Lexi? She is truly a little angel. So very helpful, so incredibly polite, and a gorgeous, beautiful, gentle soul. She is incredibly excited about starting "big school" next year. Her speech is gradually improving, but still a long way to go. She still has difficulty hearing, and we have a repeat audiogram in October so hopefully they can work out what's going on, or even better, we will see the difficulties resolve. I know that is wishful thinking, but I'm allowed to do that cos I'm her mum and I want everything to be okay for her. So we shall cross that bridge when we come to it.
Tabitha is Tabitha. As per usual. Although she is, slowly, 'maturing' for want of a better word. When she tries, she is fabulous - polite, caring, sharing, empathetic, logical. When she doesn't, well, let's just say that the small child in Bewitched and she share something in common. She is doing brilliantly at "school". Just brilliantly. She has already achieved all the goals needed to attend kinder, and yet she isn't due to go for 18 months. I'm hoping that because the kinder room at daycare is a dual purpose kinder/4 y/o room that they will allow her to be in there for 2 years as she is itching to go. Just itching. And she would thrive on the challenge. Such a smart little cookie. I think that is part of the problem a lot of the time - she is too smart for her own good and gets frustrated at everyone else treating her as though she is younger than her mental age!!!
Angus is sensational. SUCH a lil man. He is just hilarious - loves his shoes, hates wearing jackets, loves having "product" in his hair, runs around like nobody's business, nearly always has a smile on his face. Not too fond of the whole "sharing" thing, but he's at that age. It's funny though, he's my smallest (not by age, but by comparison with when the girls were his age). And yet I'm sure he'll probably end up being the tallest. Poor mum will be left in the shadows as far as the height goes - they will all overtake me!
Me, I am doing well. It is amazing how what you tell yourself can change how you feel, even if nothing effectively changes. To illustrate this, imagine you constantly emailed a radio station to try and win a competition, and they never even so much as emailed back to give confirmation they had received your entry. Again and again you would be disappointed. Change the way you think and act. Stop emailing the radio station. Effectively nothing changes. You are still getting no response, but it isn't painful anymore. Wonderful the power of the mind isn't it?
And so on that note I will just say that I caught up with a friend from school today who I haven't seen for 21 years. It was wonderful to hear news of what he'd been up to since school, and to hear about his new lil man - the joys of parenthood in its true infancy. And so very much more ahead.
And to make things even better, he brought a lovely piece of pancetta as a gift for me. How very very thoughtful. How did he know......... :)
Saturday, August 18, 2012
3rd time around
and you would think things would automatically gel.
Apparently not.
I have a nearly 2 year old. He has been very unsettled for the past week, and I have been at a loss as to why. He is still eating and drinking (more than usual in fact) and is not ill, nor is he out of sorts in any other way during the day. But at night....different story.
And it was only tonight that I realised. He is nearly 2. They have teeth named after that age. And as he reached for his ear, the penny dropped with such force that I nearly hit the ground. He's teething. My poor lil man is getting his 2 year old molars. It has been such a long time since teething was an issue in this house that it simply didn't even cross my mind. When the girls were getting their 2 year old molars, there was always another child teething in the background, so it was at the forefront. Not this time.
So at least now I know what I'm dealing with. Doesn't make it any easier, for him or for me, but it does at least give me something to work with, and some way of approaching what's happenining.
So much as today was horrid (long story) at least I have some answers at the end of it in one respect.
And a point of note - if you put the children to bed and see a rocket ship toy in the middle of the floor, move it. For when one of the children stirs and your presence is required, it is inevitable that you will forget the location of said rocket, promptly trip over it and wake everyone up.
This has been a community service announcement.
Apparently not.
I have a nearly 2 year old. He has been very unsettled for the past week, and I have been at a loss as to why. He is still eating and drinking (more than usual in fact) and is not ill, nor is he out of sorts in any other way during the day. But at night....different story.
And it was only tonight that I realised. He is nearly 2. They have teeth named after that age. And as he reached for his ear, the penny dropped with such force that I nearly hit the ground. He's teething. My poor lil man is getting his 2 year old molars. It has been such a long time since teething was an issue in this house that it simply didn't even cross my mind. When the girls were getting their 2 year old molars, there was always another child teething in the background, so it was at the forefront. Not this time.
So at least now I know what I'm dealing with. Doesn't make it any easier, for him or for me, but it does at least give me something to work with, and some way of approaching what's happenining.
So much as today was horrid (long story) at least I have some answers at the end of it in one respect.
And a point of note - if you put the children to bed and see a rocket ship toy in the middle of the floor, move it. For when one of the children stirs and your presence is required, it is inevitable that you will forget the location of said rocket, promptly trip over it and wake everyone up.
This has been a community service announcement.
I don't understand
how some people can put work before family. Consistently.
Work isn't everything. It is a substantial part of life, and a necessary one for most, for without it we wouldn't be able to manage to do things in the "down time". But there needs to be down time to see the benefits of working. Surely. That makes sense doesn't it?
Maybe things will change for these people. Maybe they will realise that life goes on whether they are there or not. Or maybe they won't.
I still believe people can change. They just have to want to is all.
Hopefully the workaholics of the world will realise there truly is more to life than work. After all, it's called life.....not work......
Work isn't everything. It is a substantial part of life, and a necessary one for most, for without it we wouldn't be able to manage to do things in the "down time". But there needs to be down time to see the benefits of working. Surely. That makes sense doesn't it?
Maybe things will change for these people. Maybe they will realise that life goes on whether they are there or not. Or maybe they won't.
I still believe people can change. They just have to want to is all.
Hopefully the workaholics of the world will realise there truly is more to life than work. After all, it's called life.....not work......
Friday, August 17, 2012
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