When you're young

you stay out all night partying and drinking and having a great old time, then the next day you sleep till noon and get up and say "I can't believe how tired I am". And then you become a mother and you don't go out all night partying and drinking and having a great old time and you get up at sparrow's fart to clean up vomit and poo and wee and you say "I can't believe how tired I am", particularly when your kids have decided that sleep is for the weak and they are strong so there you go.

I'm pretty shattered physically. Tabitha and Angus are both very rosy cheeked. Very. Tabitha has yet to get 8 teeth and has been teething for what seems like a veritable eternity. Angus, well, he has yet to get his first one, but there is a very suspicious looking bump in his top gum that can't be comfortable. Lexi rocks sleep wise. Seriously. She only really wakes up when she falls out of bed or has a nightmare, which is usually three or four times a week. The falling out of bed thing though, that is most nights at the moment. We don't have a guard on the bed here so she is prone to just tumble to the floor. Sounds brutal. Isn't. She is on a mattress on the floor and there are pillows beside it, so she falls on them, but it still semi freaks her out, and I don't blame her really. It'll be much better when we are in a place of our own and have proper beds and whatnot set up for the kids.

To be honest with you I think Tabitha is ready for a big bed. Lexi didn't go into one till she was 2.5. That was predominantly because she is such a restless sleeper. Hugely. However when she finally did go into the big bed she was gold. An absolute dream. And I know Tabitha will not be like that, because Tabitha is not a dream. She is in fact the devil in disguise at this moment in time, so putting her in a big bed now would be something like placing my tongue in a birdcage and telling the bird not to bite it. Unlikely.

I have finished most of my essay. Just one paragraph on jurisdiction and the bibliography and I'm done. It's a good feeling. Much as I can bitch and moan about study I do actually enjoy it. I enjoy the researching, I enjoy finding out the facts, and most of all I enjoy finding ways to prove I'm right. Hehe. Stupid hey? But I guess that's what it's all about in law. You work out the position you believe in and then you find every possible precedent you can to back up what you think. I like that. I like it a lot. Particularly when I find what I want. And for the most part I have.

I'm really enjoying living out in the country again. Mostly. The girls love running around and playing. Angus, well, I don't think he really gives a rat's to be honest. So yes, overall I do like it. At night though it becomes a little different. Not scary, I wouldn't say that. Just isolated. The kids are all in bed and it's just me. And nature. And of course my essays and all that obviously. But it's very confronting. I'm thinking perhaps being closer to town might not be such a bad thing just at this very moment in time. So I'm looking at places in the next few days and we should be right then. Don't get me wrong, love being here, just think that perhaps short term rather than long term is better.

I'm going to go to bed. I made noodles for the girls for dinner tonight cos they love noodles. But they didn't like these noodles. Must have been the different sauce. Silly me for thinking I could try something different. I guess I can't really complain after the enormous success of last night's dinner. Take each day as it comes.

Much as today was hard because it marks day three of practically no sleep, it was quite moving when early this afternoon the girls were both sitting at the table when Lexi piped up with "I love you". Then Tabitha said "I love youuuuuuuu" and Lexi said it again, then Tabitha, back and forth for a good five minutes. Then Lexi leaned over and hugged me and made the "mmmmm" sound as she did. And that reminds you what it's all about.