I didn't do

what I was supposed to do today. I had said to myself that with all three kids at "school" I would spend that time studying, which is why I put them into daycare in the first place. But I really did minimal study today. Why? Well, my theory is this. My mind works clearer when my surrounds are clear. I still had things to unpack, and there was still one room in particular (which will be Angus's room when he moves out of my room) that was literally just full of crap. Not crap. Clothes. And things that hadn't been sorted through. So today, instead of studying, I cleaned up. And my god did I clean up. Now, every room (save for my room which I need to get the walk in robe sorted out) is done. And that is a huge thing. What a difference it makes too. I also got some decorations for all the rooms and put those up and the girls just love them. Angus is a little too little to appreciate it right now, but I know he'll like it once he gets old enough to work out what on earth is going on.

I'm a bit tired today. Actually I'm pretty well always a bit tired. I should sleep when the kids sleep, but to be honest, the end of the day is my time. Today, yes, the kids weren't here so theoretically I should have had more than enough me time. I didn't though, because I spent the first two hours at the shops getting things I needed, the next half hour cleaning up, the next half hour trying to sort out things on the phone that needed sorting out, the next hour cleaning, the next half hour on the phone yet again trying to sort out things that really should have been able to be done on the internet yet due to the inability of the website to cope with the incredibly demanding requests I put in (oh wow I used a credit card, holy crap, how on earth are we going to cope with this, it has never happened before), I ended up spending time doing that. Then cleaning. Then a bit more. And then it was time to pick the kids up. The day flew, and by the end of it I was absolutely knackered.

Tomorrow I will attempt to have all three kids at daycare again for the whole day. Angus did his first ever full day today, and he did brilliantly, so tomorrow is his "how do I back up" day to see if he can do the two in a row thing. Lexi had a great day, did really well. Tabitha, well, um, yep. I go minute by minute thinking I should keep her there for her own good (because it really would do her good in the long run) or take her home with me (because after all the sole reason I have them in there is to give me time to study and study with one is a hell of a lot easier than study with three, although study with none is much easier than study with one so I'm not really sure). Hmmm. Decisions decisions.

I should eat more fish. And I really want to try a truffle. Not the chocolate type, those big weird shaped brown things you see on all the cooking shows. And they rave about them. Something shocking. I want to try it. I want to experience the flavour. But I don't want to pay for it. Wonder how I'll manage that.....

And yet again I find myself in the situation of thinking what the hell was I going to say. This, whoever might be reading, is what happens when you have three children under the age of three. You have the best intentions, always. Your intentions are always stunted in their infancy, not by ill-meaning people or mini people, but by mini people who just want to be with you, talk to you, play with you, cuddle you, share a laugh with you, even though you have no idea about what they are laughing. Or the after effects....the sleep deprivation, the curse of the mother, the no full night's sleep. And pregnancy brain. Or not. Unpregnancy brain. My theory is that pregnancy brain does not leave when the child does. It leaves only when the child leaves home. So brace yourselves chicks, a fair way to go yet.....

Tomorrow will be interesting. I have done everything I wanted to do around the house, even down to scrubbing the showers and toilets and organising the cupboards, so tomorrow will be the first day that I have to myself. To study. To do things for me. Without children here. And I'm not sure how I'll cope. Sounds silly? Nope. Not at all. Every day I have spent with my babies, save for those times I was in hospital having other babies, and save for the last few weeks when they have had their little stays at "school", but even then I still had one baby. Today was the first fully non-childless day, and I was too busy to let it sink in. But I'm tipping it will tomorrow. And to be honest with you I think I'll cry. Why? Because they are my babies. And I feel an intense need to be with them. Even when they are being little bastards. Ooooooh harsh? Nope. They can be. Veritable little bastards. Doesn't stop me loving them though. Not for a second.

So tomorrow. Yep. Will be interesting. Isn't as though I have nothing to do - the whole point is study. And study I will do. Three essays must be done and I have about 3 weeks to do them, so I can certainly use the time, that's for sure.

Just don't be surprised if a small (or even substantial) portion of tomorrow is spent away from study, wondering what my babies are doing and if they are okay.

For no matter what we do, no matter where our little ones are, they are in our hearts and never out of our thoughts. Ever.