I've said it before

and I'll say it again. It's all about perspective.

See five years ago if you had told me that I would be ecstatic to be waking up at 4am I would have thought you were crazy. Yet this morning, upon waking at 4am I was literally filled with glee (the emotion, not the TV show). Why you ask? Because Angus had slept from 8pm last night. Yep. He did his first ever 8 hour stretch. What made it even better was the fact that the girls also slept through. So me, she of the sleep deprivation, managed to get over 6 hours sleep. In a row. And my goodness me, I slept like the dead.

I think I might clean the toyroom out today. The girls quite obviously have far too many toys. How do I know this, or why do I believe it? I shall tell you. There are several boxes in the toyroom. These boxes contain a mixture of different items including, but certainly not limited to, soft toys, stack uppy hoopy things (as you can tell my vocabulary is not at its peak first thing in the morning), trains, annoying toys that play ridiculously plinky music when you push their buttons, hair bands (escapees from the bathroom), tupperware snack cups (escapees from the kitchen), books, miniature pillows, handbags and the list goes on. The floor is covered by one of those piece together jigsaw puzzle kind of alphabet mat things. Here's a picture of the girls playing on it at the start of its life. And yes, it has now seen better days.

Anyway, I had a point. Now to find that point. Ah yes, they have many toys. But last night it would seem that this was not sufficient. Oh no, not at all. Instead of playing with one of their toys, in their toyroom, they opted to play on the kitchen floor. The object of their attention? A toothbrush.

So my theory is that I can piff some of the useless plastic rubbish that is obviously too uninteresting for the girls, and for Christmas this year I can select a nice range of dental hygiene products for them. Sounds like a plan.

Speaking of Christmas I've been thinking lately about things that we can get for the girls and mini dude and coming up fairly blank. As has been established we have more than enough toys, so I need to think outside the square. I'm thinking of going for the arty crafty cooking kind of theme. Yep, that's the go. Not for Angus though, I'm not sure he'd enjoy it too much. Then again, maybe he would. He seems pretty mature for his age....

The girls are actually in the toyroom at the moment, systematically dismantling the mat you see pictured above. It's a fabulous mat, it really is, but it does get frustrating to sit down to watch tv or have a coffee only to remove a B from underneath your backside, although it may well be that the girls are smarter than I give them credit for and they are saying B is for backside, that's where it goes. Or maybe I'm still just a little sleep deprived. One or the other.

Duty calls. Lexi is in her cupboard as we speak working out what she would like to wear today. She is also requiring a nappy change, as they do. And so the day, once again, begins and I wonder what my munchkins will provide by way of comic relief and insanity for me today.

Washing

There are five people in this household - 2 adults and 3 children. The adults go through on average two outfits a day when you factor in dirt, food, vomit and other bodily fluids emanating from any or all of the three miniature adults. The little ones go through anything from 1 to 6 outfits, depending again on the above factors.

I had four loads of clean washing in several baskets.

I advise you not to attempt to fold this amount of washing with three children under 3 awake and in the room. It is much like trying to suck a watermelon through a garden hose - frustrating, unsuccessful, and very likely to give you a headache.

Oh, and the bug winding count stands at approximately 653.

That is all.

You would think

that having 2 out of 3 children asleep things would be much quieter, much easier to deal with and you could basically relax. Yep. You would think that.

This theory gets blown out of the window when the child who remains awake is coincidentally also the one who got up on the wrong side of the bed. In that case one actually wishes for the other two to be awake so that one has an excuse to ignore the wrong-sided one.....rather than needing to tell her she will be sold to the gypsies if she doesn't start behaving.

Distraction by way of visitors took place this morning, the visitors very welcome, miniature and grown up alike, however the wind up toy bug that was given to the girls, though a source of constant amusement for she of the grumpiness is proving somewhat of a hmm, let me see the correct words, pain in the ass I think suits it quite well. Don't get me wrong, thank you to our lovely visitors for the momentos of the party that we were sadly unable to attend, they are just too inviting I think!

He's such a cute little bug too, yellow, big eyes, crawly wally kind of thing, you wind him up and he creeps along like a caterpillar. However he needs constant winding, and the miniature one doesn't know how to do this. In the time it has taken me to type this I have rewound the bug approximately 27 times.....and I anticipate I will wind him several more times before the day is out.

Now, if Lexi could work out how to wind him herself, that would be great. I'm trying to teach her. Each time she comes running over with the bug in need of reanimation I show her that she needs to look Mr Bug in the eye, put her right hand on the twirly bit, and wind. And miss independent can't immediately do it, so here come the tears, while the bug hangs precariously wiggling with the small amount of windedness that he got before the tears commenced. Ah yes. The joys of parenting a toddler.

And here are the girls with their party bags.

The mangoes are very nice indeed. In fact, here is a photo of the salad I made to go with dinner last night.

I'm still in search of more recipes for mangoes....will be attempting the spring rolls early next week if I can drag myself to the shops to get spring roll papers or wrappers or whatever they call themselves.

I'm now seeking inspiration for dinner. I need something that I can make in a very short space of time, preferably with the help of Lexi so that keeps her out of mischief for a while, that doesn't require a huge number of ingredients or skill. Or care. Is that wrong? No, I don't think it is. I think if anyone created a recipe book entitled simply CBF or something similar, a recipe book for mums who seriously don't have the time to spend labouring over a hot stove to ensure that the bay leaves infuse their flavour subtley into the milk while the meat rests blah blah, it would sell heaps. Actually, I could do that. In my spare time. Bahahahahahaha. Yep. And as you can tell, I've gone slightly mad. Again. It happens. Regularly.

Might go have a Coke.

I'm awake

yes, I'm awake. I'm awaaaake. Who would have thought a little yellow muppet (that's what he calls himself, I personally think he's more orange than yellow) could have such an impact on the day. Without Ollie I wouldn't know what day it is.

Do you know what day it is today? Do you know what day it is today? Let me see let me see let me see..... If yesterday was Friday and tomorrow will be Sunday, if yesterday was Friday and tomorrow will be Sunday.... that means, oh yes, yes it is! It's Saturday all day today!

And I was actually singing that as I was typing it. Oh so very very sad. However on some days were it not for Ollie I would not know what day it was. So he is quite helpful. I just had a thought. Rather than wait for Ollie to tell me I could probably just look on my phone or the computer. Well aren't I just the bright spark. Only taken me this long to realise that.

He also sings a song about lunch. Talks about all sorts of lovely foods (and some not so lovely but I guess it's only fair), and gets the girls in an eating mood which of course is not difficult at the best of times anyway.

Then there is the bedtime song. We like the bedtime song. And the bedtime talking segment too. Because it prompts mum to start yawning.....why do I yawn? Well, firstly I am a little tired, yes, but these yawns are fake yawns. They do then lead in to yawns of the real nature cos that is how yawns work. But these fake yawns are employed because of the simple and well known fact that if you see someone else yawn you can't help but yawn yourself. I challenge you to remain yawn free whilst reading the word yawn so many times, particularly if you are doing so early in the morning or late at night (or during a particularly boring day even). So yes, the reasoning behind my fake yawning was that the girls would see me yawn, and their little brains would say "ooooh mummy's yawning and is tired, maybe I am tired too". Funnily enough I think it actually works. The things we do hey?

I found myself crawling into bed at half 8 last night. I was shattered. Months of sleep deprivation finally caught up with me I think. And so I got to bed, exhausted, yawning, and ready for sleep. And I lay there. After ten minutes I felt as though I was more awake than I had been in years. Now tell me, how on earth does THAT work? So I did the whole concentrate on making your body relax thing, and then by the time I got to my knees I was bored so my mind started wandering, and who knows where it wandered to because I woke up at 12 to mini dude wanting a feed. So maybe the relaxation thing did work? Who knows. I like to think that my mind wandering far and wide tired my body out. Or something like that.

Coffee is in hand, Red Bull is in the fridge (yes, yes it is, and I am most happy about that fact), there are 10 or so enormous mangoes sitting in a bucket on the bench and today it is my quest to work out how to use said mangoes. I suppose I should have a quick look through my uni stuff too as that starts on Monday. Then again I might not. I do think I'll get another coffee for now.....

When will I ever learn

that silence equals danger. It equals two mischievous toddlers hiding in one bedroom removing everything from a set of drawers. It equals 40 nappies laid out end to end wizard of oz yellow brick road style. It equals a stealth Tabitha sneaking up on Angus and, by the use of her finger alone, converting him to look as though he has been involved in a bar brawl. And his eye is fine for those of you who are worried, just a little red and swollen.

I believe I may have said "Lexi" a thousand times or more today. Usually with tone. And surprisingly I have said "Tabitha" a near equal amount. Why surprising? Because Tabitha used to be the good one. Now I have two naughty ones. Hmm. Actually they're not really naughty, they're great kids, I'm very lucky. I say this as I'm stressing to Lexi that unless she sits properly at the table she will go in the high chair to which she is replying a very pained "noooooo". Agh I give up today. At least she ate lunch. That's something. Some days if you can get one meal into them you're doing well. Others, it's as though they have a third world country living inside their belly eating vicariously through them. Today is obviously a minimal food day. No doubt she'll make up for it tomorrow.

Speaking of speaking, not that I was, but I have mentioned it now so technically I am, Tabitha now says strawberry. You could have knocked me over with a feather when she said that. What 16 month old can say strawberry??!!! She says it better than Lexi too!! Lexi has started answering the television if it asks her a question as well. My kidlets are such clever little munchkins!

Ah well I suppose I should get off my posterior and organise baths for these two. Angus is bathed and fed already. I do it in the reverse order for the girls because if I bathed them first, well, it would be much like drying yourself before you go for a swim. Relatively pointless and only needing repetition after the event.

So away I go to remove the layer of cheese and vegetable pasta from Tabitha's face. And arms. And legs. And hair. I think you get the message. Now where did I put the scourer.....

Fruit is evil

Apricots are furry. Peaches are fuzzy. Apples remind me of oasis, that green stuff in which you arrange flowers. Kind of like meringue. Which I also don't do. Pears are gritty. Strawberries are bitty. Bananas are just plain wrong. So, I don't eat fruit. Unless of course it is in muffin form, in which case I'll eat it until the cows come home, but something tells me it loses some of the natural goodness when you muffinize it. I may be wrong, just a hunch.

Bearing my dislike of fruit in mind there is one fruit that gets my tick of approval. And it isn't just the fruit, it is the fruit and the region. Bowen mangoes. If you have never had one you simply must. I still have a small issue - I can't stand the pip....and seeing people sucking on a mango pip literally makes me cringe (and in fact I am sitting here cringing as I type, that's how bad it is). However the flesh itself is magnificent. Sensational. Amazing.

So I have a bucketload, literally, sitting on the bench, and now to work out how to use them...... Avocado, bacon and mango salad is the first port of call. Mango salsa? Hmmmm. Smoothie, minus the milky stuff, so maybe a frappe thingy?? Oh yes, my mind is going ten to the dozen! Actually I might google.....in this situation google is not the devil (as it is in many cases, usually medical in nature), but google is a wizard, providing seemingly infinite recipes and ideas on how to use my newly obtained plethora of mangoes.

I'm salivating. And I had KFC for lunch. What a day.

And that was my first mistake

I went to the shops the other day, perusing the aisles checking out all the new products, oohing and aahing like a top class buyer at a fashion show, trying out the odd new thing, and piffing many other things, on special or otherwise, into my trolley.

The first mistake I made was when I got to the "energy drinks" aisle. I picked up a 4 pack of Red Bull, looked at it, looked at my trolley, looked at it again and then said, out loud, "I don't need it", "I'll only drink it if I get it, then I won't have it anymore". Now this strange sort of logic made perfect sense to me at the time, those few days ago. Right now, at this particular time, there is nothing I want more in this world than a Red Bull.

The second mistake I made was also resisting the urge to buy Coke, based upon the same premise.

Now, resolving to give up caffeine is one thing. I wasn't in fact doing that because I do still drink coffee (black, no sugar, ah yes the purists coffee is the only coffee to drink). I was making an attempt to cut down on the carbonated versions of my caffeine intake in a quest to firstly save money and secondly save my stomach from what is most likely going to end up an ulcer if I don't stop drinking so much Coke and Red Bull. It was good in theory. Practice, however, was a different story.

See, having three kids under three isn't too hard. Well, it isn't a walk in the park (certainly not at the moment anyway cos it's wet season so we can't really go for walks in the park) but that isn't the point I'm trying to make. During the day it is busy with kids running around wanting food, drinks, attention, help, guidance, play, soft toys, or a particularly nasty and evil boogie may need removing from the finger that only seconds before had been wedged firmly up the child's nose.

However daytimes are a veritable breeze. They truly are. It's the NIGHTS that will get you. For you can approach the night with as positive an attitude as you can muster, and the little munchkins may lull you into a false sense of security (say, for example, like last night, just to take a random night out of nowhere to use as something to illustrate the point that I think you will see needs to be made). My angels were all in bed by 7pm. Wonderful. Sensational. And they were sleeping. Even better!

But.....1.20am arrived. With it brought the awakening of young Mr Angus. Half a bottle, sleepy Angus, burpy Angus, ah yes that's the way, resettle little man. 1.40pm awake Angus, we didn't quite make it to bed, but that's okay, there's still half a bottle here let's give that a go. WOW! SKULL! Okay, that makes sense, mini dude was still hungry. So 1.55am rocks around and he's calmly asleep on my shoulder after what must have been an incredibly satisfying burp.

If that was all, I'd be rapt. But no. It is not all. Not at all is it all. Mini chick appears to be getting some more of those rotten sharp things protruding from her gums. Consequently she awoke, quite upset with the state of the world, within approximately 17 minutes of Angus's return to bed after his feed. I had not yet managed to fall asleep but I was in that incredibly relaxed state where your body involuntarily jerks.

And so I then involuntarily jerked out of bed to attend to mini chick. Who then took quite some time to calm down and fall asleep, by which time my arms were pumped more than the tyre on a landcruiser. Mini chick isn't so mini you see. She is 13.5kg of love, which increases relatively the longer you hold her and sway to calm her. I eventually put her back into the cot, still wide awake, and employed the "stroking the forehead" technique, where I remained for approximately 20 minutes until I saw her eyes flitter and fade into sleepiness. So I attempted the reverse departure, hand outstretched as if that mere action could hold her in sleep, and I myself fell into bed, quite literally, at 3.50am.

It was at this time that I heard mini dude shuffling around in the cot. Now I am not an overly religious person, but my word did I find prayer. It appears to have worked, as he remained in bed until 5.55am (wonderful time that, all the 5s).

So up I am for the day. It's not quite 7 and I'm on to coffee number 2, extra strength, because I am distinctly lacking in Red Bull.

Next time I go to the supermarket, if I have that conversation with myself again, the stupid one where I advise myself not to buy the Red Bull, I'm not going to listen to myself, but I'm going to pick up the Red Bull, put it in the trolley, and tell myself to be quiet.